Christian sues NFL for $867 TRILLION, claiming halftime show keeps him from heaven

The Super Bowl halftime show may keep a Christian man out of heaven and that man is now preparing to sue the National Football League for damages.

HUGE damages - $876,000,000,000,000.00

Dave Daubenmire, host of the Pass The Salt Live webcast, explained his case during his most recent YouTube video.

“I think we ought to sue,” he said. “Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son—whose hormones are just starting to operate—was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

“I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom and present this as evidence of how whoever [put on the halftime show] is keeping me from getting into the kingdom of Heaven,” Daubenmire added. “Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’? Could the court say, ‘That doesn’t apply here because the right to [produce] porn overrides your right to [not] watch it’? Yeah, well, you didn’t tell me I was gonna watch it! You just brought it into my living room. You didn’t tell me there were gonna be crotch shots!”

“That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that,” he argued. “I wanna sue them for about $867 trillion.”

APP USERS CAN SEE VIDEO HERE.